Thanks to MyHeritage DNA Quest, I Had Both of My Dads to Walk Me Down the Aisle

Thanks to MyHeritage DNA Quest, I Had Both of My Dads to Walk Me Down the Aisle

Kara Miller was placed for a closed adoption when she was two days old. Years after taking a DNA test through MyHeritage’s pro bono project DNA Quest, Kara received a match that led her to connect with both of her birth parents. Months later, both her birth dad and her adoptive dad were able to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day —as recently reported in People Magazine.

Watch this touching video about their reunion:

卡拉在成长过程中充分意识到自己是被收养的。她是家里4个女儿中最大的一个,其中3个是领养的,她的家人为她们的身份感到自豪,鼓励她们对自己的过去和家庭充满好奇。世界杯东道主2022

Kara celebrates a birthday with her adoptive family

Kara celebrates a birthday with her adoptive family

But because Kara’s adoption was closed, and the agency that had facilitated the adoption had since shut down, she wasn’t sure how to go about finding her birth parents when she turned 18. The information she had about her parents was minimal: she had a name for her mother (which turned out to be inaccurate), and a few minor details, but nothing about her father.

Years ago, Kara’s adopted mother learned about DNA Quest — a MyHeritage pro bono project that sends free DNA kits to adoptees searching for their birth families — and encouraged Kara to apply. This is what Kara submitted to us when asked why she would like to take a DNA test:

“I was adopted at 2 days old and it was truly a blessing. My brave mom gave me up so I could have a better life and I will thank her for that forever. My birth mom was only 16 when I was born. My birth grandpa said that he would be thinking about me every day. I have tried to live a life that all of my family would be proud of. I really want to meet my birth parents and grandparents so I can thank them for everything they’ve given me. I want to learn about who they are and share our stories with one another.”

Kara was granted a free DNA kit and she took the test. Unfortunately, no close relatives came up in her matches. For years, she checked every single DNA Match email she received through MyHeritage, but the matches were always distant.

Until one morning in February, 2021.

‘I think you found us’

“I have a bad habit of looking at my phone first thing in the morning,” Kara laughs. That morning, she glanced at her phone and saw just one notification: an email from MyHeritage informing her that she had a new DNA match. She opened the email, and couldn’t believe her eyes: it was a 25% match with a woman named Andrea.

Based on Andrea’s age group, Kara deduced that this woman must be her aunt.

卡拉立即写信给安德里亚,并打电话给她的母亲,告诉她刚刚的发现。他们焦急地等待着安德里亚的回复,又等了一天半——直到卡拉收到另一个人的消息,这个人的匹配率也达到了25% !是安德里亚的母亲帕姆。这种家庭关世界杯东道主2022系加上25%的匹配毫无疑问地表明帕姆是卡拉的祖母。

After a flurry of messages between the family members, Andrea and Pam recalled something they had known many years ago. Pam’s son Mark — Andrea’s brother — had fathered a baby girl when he was 19. Pam knew about it at the time, and 8 years ago, Mark had shared this information with Andrea over lunch.

“I think you found us,” Andrea wrote to Kara.

Kara with her biological aunt, Andrea

Kara with her biological aunt, Andrea

It turned out that Andrea had recently uploaded her DNA and her mother’s DNA to MyHeritage when learning that she could do so for free. She is currently studying toward a degree with a minor in family history, and that’s why she took an interest in genealogy and DNA. She never dreamed she would find her brother’s biological daughter.

安德里亚写信告诉马克发生了什么事。一开始,他说他想做个DNA测试来确认,但安德里亚告诉他,因为卡拉和她以及他们的母亲都匹配,所以百分百确定卡拉就是他的女儿。所以他问了她的详细情况,说他想和她谈谈。

‘I needed some time with my daughter’

“卡拉出生的时候我19岁,除了她的名字,我对她一无所知,”马克说。“当你还小的时候,你不明白有了一个孩子并把她送给别人的意义。但这很难,你想知道她是谁,她是怎么长大的?她快乐吗?”

马克和卡拉在Facebook上一直联系到凌晨。他们决定见面,但因为工作太忙了,马克不得不把日期定在两周后。他说:“过了几天,我觉得等不及了,要求早点见面。”“我们住的地方相距两小时的车程,所以我们在一家披萨店认识的。这非常令人兴奋。”

Kara with her biological father, Mark

Kara with her biological father, Mark

Mark was also in touch with Kara’s birth mother, and he made the connection — but not before taking a few days to get to know Kara himself. “I felt that I wanted her to myself, I needed some time with my daughter,” he says.

‘I never stopped thinking of her’

Kara’s biological mother, Shannon, was overjoyed to hear the news.

“I always hoped I’d find her, to make sure she got a better life, like I hoped she would, to know that I made the right decision, even though it was so hard for me,” says Shannon. “I wanted her to find me, so I used to update my contact details every year with the adoption agency. I assumed this would be the only way she could find me.”

Shannon was only 16 when she got pregnant with Kara. “My father thought I should raise her,” she says, “but I wanted her to have a good life, to have a father and a mother who will take good care of her. So I placed my baby for adoption.”

“I never stopped thinking of her,” Shannon goes on. “I had her photos, I even kept the ultrasound photo of her. Every year, on her birthday, I wouldput notes in balloons and send them off, and save books for her, dreaming that she would get them one day.”

But Shannon was convinced that she should not make an attempt to find and contact her daughter. 10 years ago, Mark reconnected with Shannon and tried to convince her that they should find their daughter, but she refused. “I told him that even though I want it badly, it needs to come from her and we can’t just barge into her life,” she says.

She says the DNA option had never occurred to her. “When I got the call from Mark, saying that he found Kara, I felt so happy but also so sad. I was sad because I was far from her and couldn’t take my car and drive to see her immediately.”

她补充说:“见到她,知道她可爱的父母把她照顾得很好,对我来说是一次治愈的经历。”

Kara with her biological mother, Shannon

Kara with her biological mother, Shannon

Down the aisle with both dads

The story came beautifully full circle this September, when Kara got married and invited both her adopted and her biological fathers to walk her down the aisle. Mark, her birth father, walked her halfway, and then Doug, her adoptive dad, took it from there.

“I had moments in my life where I wondered if there’s anyone that looks like me,” says Kara. “I always wanted to meet my family but I didn’t realize I was going to be so happy about it. It just feels so good. Now I have a whole new family. I have everybody that I need.”

Comments

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  • FW

    Faith Wiener

    October 27, 2021

    Kara looks just like her biological mother !

  • P

    Penelope

    October 28, 2021

    The symbolism of having your biological father walk the first half and then the adoptive father “taking it from there” just made me sob, and I’m not a crier. What a beautiful and thoughtful choice, honoring both of these men in your life. (And congratulations on the marriage!)

  • SS

    Shmuel S. Halevi

    December 2, 2021

    I apologise for asking this question, however I would very much like to know if both the birth mother & the adopted daughter are 100% Jewish? as to me they just look like typical all American non-Jewish women. All the Jewish people I associate with and acclimatized to all look 100% in every Jewish or midfle-eastern.
    Plrase don’t be offended by my question.

  • RA

    Richard Anderson

    December 2, 2021

    what a very sweet story, thank you for sharing and have a happy life together – kudos to all involved

  • R

    Rick

    December 3, 2021

    It’s so wonderful reading a story that’s similar to mine in that all parties acted and reacted as they should. My story and Kara’s is akin to a fairy tale in comparison to most of our fellow adoptees, which is based in rejection at birth and there after. Peace to all involved and thank you for sharing your story!

  • DB

    David B Crain

    December 5, 2021

    Beautiful story!